jolene

2011-03-15T08:17:00.002-07:00

So, my boyfriend thinks I need a hobby. I have plenty of hobbies! Like reading, watching movies, going jogging, playing the guitar once a month... and watching South Korea bury their pigs alive.

See, I do have plenty of hobbies. Loads, in fact! That's just the start of them! Why do boys say such insensitive things sometimes? And no, it doesn't sting because it's true, it stings because it's inappropriate.

"Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I've ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one to 10, we're talking...a minus 6. And it's not like I even have very high standards."
- Sophie Kinsella

BRAINNNNSSSSSS

2010-12-08T05:06:00.000-08:00

[9:05:01 PM] Meng Jia: HULLO

[9:05:22 PM] jolene: HI OMFGGGGGG

[9:05:23 PM] jolene: :<

[9:05:28 PM] jolene: jolene brain burst

[9:05:29 PM] jolene: :(((((((

[9:05:30 PM] jolene: jolene KABOOM

[9:05:34 PM] Meng Jia: ohno!

[9:05:34 PM] jolene: jolene SPLAT

[9:05:41 PM] jolene: jolene THROBBING GRAY MATTER EVERYWHERE

[9:05:41 PM] Meng Jia: Meng Jia puts jolene's brain back together

This just about sums me up for the next two weeks.

Zha Jiang Mian Recipe

2010-12-06T19:24:00.001-08:00

A recipe I decided to try!

Ingredients you'll need:

Lan Zhou noodles

Ground Pork

Lao Gan Ma hot chilli bean paste

Salt

Pepper

Sugar

Vegetable Oil

Sesame Oil

Garlic and Ginger

1. Stir fry garlic and ginger in hot vegetable oil.

2. Add your ground pork to the fried garlic and ginger and mix it up

3. Add Lao Gan Ma

4. Add sesame oil, salt, sugar and pepper. Just a little of each and you're done for the meat sauce.

5. Boil your Lan Zhou noodles in a separate pot of water for 3 minutes. It takes really quick!

6. Fish out your noodles and pour some meat sauce on top. Serve hot.

If you can't finish the mince meat topping, you may store it in a container overnight and just heat it up with some fresh noodles whenever you like.

Done!

Rise and Shin

2010-12-05T04:42:00.000-08:00

Good morning. I'm here to show you how ~~meng~~ people start learning how to make good breakfast decisions.

I like to kick start the day with some Ovaltine which you can see now, is almost gone.

Good decision makers begin prepping their breakfasts.

And if you belong to the bunch who make not so good choices, you might just end up with a lame buffalo chicken burrito for breakfast.

And then you feel a little bad watching smart people enjoying their piping hot, spicy Shin.

So you decide to eat a Shin cup anyway while feeling lame but that's okay, because Shin makes people feel better.

Mengy people take a some time to learn how to choose the optimal breakfast, but they pick up quick staying with Jolene a while!

I wanted to show you the stuffed blueberry pie and vanilla ice cream meng so generously scooped...

and the pack of bacon I decided on a whim to finish. MMM! Decision making couldn't be better!!!

2010-12-05T04:33:00.000-08:00

Night has a smell to it. An almost woody scent that hides exciting mystery in the curtains of its wafts.

The Maldives

2010-11-20T04:11:00.000-08:00

Pictures from the luxurious Diva Resort in the Maldives. Absolutely decadent!

See the ocean below your feet!

Ever-inviting tubs floating with pretty flowers.

How can anything be this insanely beautiful? I wanna go there someday.

Mailing Love

2010-11-19T04:27:00.000-08:00

I wasn't having the best time today til someone delivered these. They made me just ecstatic! It's not because I exceptionally love flowers, I just feel so lucky that I have someone who loves me... and I love him back.

E-Learning Costume

2010-11-16T03:23:00.001-08:00

Zixin and my "costumes" according to Uncle Francis.

Updates, Updates.

2010-11-15T05:18:00.001-08:00

Haven't been blogging of late. It makes me so sad that the only thing I can think of blogging about is my little tuition kid getting 72 on his Math exam.

I'm sure some exciting things have happened...

Gerlynn's birthday at Ikea. Birthday cake hat for the birthday girl!

Dinner at Mei's. Thumbs up!

Maniacal picture I took with Meng's phone when we were staying at Josh's place in Penn State.

2010-11-08T04:55:00.002-08:00

For all the Fantines out there.

2010-11-06T02:27:00.001-07:00

All things wither and die.
Just like you and I.

2010-09-29T01:58:00.001-07:00

"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones."

-Marcus Aurelius

Let Go

2010-09-24T03:49:00.000-07:00

Let go of your uphill battles in school.

Let go of the burden of responsibility.

Let go of failure.

Let go of what people think about you.

Let go of the things people you love thoughtlessly say about you.

Let go of the nitty gritty that's at the back of your mind.

Let go of the good memories you wish you could have now.

Let go of loneliness.

It's so hard to let go.

Goodbyes

2010-09-02T04:32:00.001-07:00

I asked someone once, why we have to say goodbye to the people we love.

He simply answered, "so that we can say hello again."

Crying Kids

2010-09-02T04:05:00.000-07:00

Crying children scare me. I don't mean the sort that throw tantrums and kick up a screaming fuss. I secretly want to smack those kids under the table. It just really gets to me when little kids cry huge, quiet tears when they are disappointed. Especially when they look forward to something so much only to find out that it isn't really going to happen.

Some parents lie to their kids to pacify and temporarily shut them up without thinking about the consequences. I say this because yesterday, my littlest tutee was really disappointed when he found out he wasn't going swimming after tuition after all. This incident gave me a massive memory jolt. I remember being super disappointed when Pokemon didn't tape and stuff. It felt like my whole world was crumbling!

We think we outgrow these things with age, but we never really do. In fact, our expectations grow bigger. Stuff like not getting into the college course you want, not getting your dream job or not being able to see your boyfriend even after waiting for a year (haha), would surely be bitter pills to swallow.

It would be easy for anyone to wave a dismissive hand and tell my tutee to get a move on with his work but I felt genuinely sorry for him because i knew if the one thing I'm looking forward to didn't happen, I would cry for weeks.

Anyway, went for orientation today and it was fine. I just wanna get a move on with school and get to learning some stuff (and also get closer to summer) already.

Faith

2010-08-17T16:38:00.000-07:00

Faith.

The confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.

A belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.

The loyalty to a person or thing.

A set of principles or beliefs.

Faith is what keeps me going.

Singapore

2010-08-09T07:52:00.001-07:00

Sucks so hard to be back in Singapore. It's funny how I took a week to integrate back into the Singapore timezone but fell right into step with America's.

Since I've got back, I've got to hang out with a bunch of people I've missed. The sickest part about this is that I've left the person I miss the most behind. You can't ever have it all can you?

Reminiscing about the flight back home never fails to make my stomach twist a little. People should never have to go through things as sad as that, but they do.

I received a call today regarding the Green Card. I was just checking it out online and filled the form in a little before I realized that I actually needed to pay 399 euros for a chance at winning the Green Card for the duration of four years.

The guy on the phone explained that there are a few ways to get it, get married, invest at least $400k in the country or win a Green Card. Apparently, Singaporeans have a high chance of being allocated Green Cards this year too. Then again, if Meng and I work out then I wouldn't need a Green Card, would I? Took me a while to convince the fella that I was just looking at the site for fun.

I've been so worried about money ever since I got back because I'm afraid that I won't be financially able to see Meng again or get to inhale and bodily process expensive American molecules.

College is going to start soon, so I've been trying to secure tuition students for a bit of money. Hopefully, this will help ease my raging thoughts a little.

I feel like a 60 year old trapped in a girl's body. Just weary.

Wish

2010-08-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

Maybe we could meet again on a good night and escape with our dreams.

Penn State

2010-07-17T06:46:00.001-07:00

Headed down Meng's College, Penn State, last Monday. We got everything down pat. Checked the bus timings, secured lodging and packed everything. But when we got to the Greyhound bus terminal to purchase tickets, the lady there told (ranted at) us that we needed to check in one hour prior to departure. It was really strange though, cause she was telling us off, then she was going "actually, I do have some tickets for you".

Anyway, it was a three-hour ride to State College and we had a short layover at Harrisburg. I really loved the trip up. We saw a tiny Statue of Liberty and plenty of highlands and rivers. When we got there, we met one of Meng's friends, Mo, who helped us with the keys and stuff for the apartment.

Lunch was really nice. We went to a little noodle place called Big Bowl and I ordered Singapore Noodles. They were nice! It was a strange combination of rice noodles and curry powder mixed in with veggies, prawn and pork. Not anything you'd find in Singapore but still absolutely delicious. The great thing about food here is that the portions are big! It's like everything is up sized, so you won't have to worry about not having enough to eat. Worry about what you'd do with your leftovers!

State college is a lovely place. It's really a quaint little town where the college sits with streets of tiny shops across it. It's really convenient for college kids staying there.

Campus is huge. We walked around so much, so I don't really feel too guilty for gorging and not exercising these few weeks. There were plenty of rabbits and squirrels around and I really wanted to feed them, so we went to this farmers' market and bought a box of currents. I thought the rabbits would dash to us for currents but I was so wrong. They just sat there minding their own, eating stupid grass the whole time. Even when I threw a current at them, they wouldn't even bat an eye!

Squirrels were a bit different (smarter), they'd find the current and give it a few nibbles at least. One of them even DASHED up to us for food! I hope he wasn't too disappointed to see that we had currents and not nuts or something.

I had some interesting things to eat at Penn State too. I had a calzone, which is essentially a folded pizza, a smore cookie, tomato soup, Mcdonalds breakfast sausage biscuit (it was interesting), shrimp fried rice at a Chinese place and SHIN BOWL.

We found a Korean store which sold crazy Asian things, including Shin Bowls. God I love Shin. Meng knows where to get Shin Bowls now during term and hopefully he'll think of me when he does.

We also got to see Meng's new apartment that he's occupying next year. It's really nice and spacious and he'll be rooming with a buncha friends, so that's exciting!

Less than two weeks left in America now, I'm trying not to think about the end.

Penn State

2010-07-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

Approximately three weeks left in America. Meng and I did a buncha stuff over the last few days.

Took an Amtrak train to Philadelphia city on Friday. It was raining cats and dogs! Almost got ran down by a stupid cab cause he ran the red light when the walk sign was on.

Later, I got splashed by a cab because Meng was too busy being a numbskull to be a gentleman and stand on the outside of the sidewalk. What a jerk. (Meng typed this)

We also went to the Franklin Institute which was kinda like Singapore's Science Centre. There was this awesome coin crank machine where they press your coins into other coin designs. They had dissection sessions and a giant heart which you could walk through!

We are now in Penn State staying at one of Meng's friends' apartments. Penn state is awesome. It's like a little town on its own. So quaint and accessible. Everything you need is within reach. The best part of it is that it doesn't feel like school at all.

Anyway, meng is playing poker and I'm too sleepy to blog, so that's it for now!

Delaware

2010-07-03T13:51:00.000-07:00

It's already day 6 of this 32 day trip. I'm not looking forward to the end of it at all. I'm really sleepy cause I just got up from a nap. I wanna go to the beach but Meng isn't up yet so I'm typing this.

We took a little rest for a day in Pennsylvania and then Meng drove us down to Exton mall which is 11 minutes away from his place. I bought a whole lot of stuff from Victoria's Secret, Forever 21 and a buncha other stores. I think we'll go to this other mall called King of Prussia too, which is supposed to be one of the largest malls around the US.

As the fourth of July is coming up, Meng's mom got some time off and we took a 3 hour drive to their beach house in Delaware, Fenwick Island. It is beautiful here. Although the sun is pretty strong, the breezes are cool and balmy. Went to a little beach shop which sold shell necklaces and other beach stuff and went to this mini golf place called Down Under Mini Golf or somethin. Meng beat me. I don't wanna talk about it.

Ate a crab cake sandwich on the walk back from the mini golf place. It was really chunky with crab meat and crispy on the outside. So delicious. Tim also cooked some steaks for us on the barbecue outside last night and we had dinner while the sun set.

Just today, we went grocery shopping at a supermarket called Food Lion. There's anything and everything there.

In America, everything just seems a little more relaxed, a little more story book-like, a little more perfect.

Philly

2010-06-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

Doesn't feel very much different in the land of the free! The main purpose of this trip was really to get to spend some time with Meng the crazy boy again.

Took a whole week after leaving work to pack for this trip. Dad was such a trooper on Monday morning. He brought me to the airport at 3 in the morning and bought me breakfast and helped me with everything. I really hate goodbyes and I guess I'm a bit of a little girl inside.

It took about 24, 25 hours from door to door to get to Philly. Left Singapore, transited at Hong Kong, transited at Chicago, then took a domestic flight to final destination, Philadelphia.

The flight to Hong Kong was three and a half hours but it was excruciating cause I was missing home so badly already. It was terribly lonely. Transited at Hong Kong really quickly cause I was worried that I'd run into trouble. Didn't even dare to roam around duty free.

Got into the plane for a 14 hour five minute ride to Chicago. That plane was PACKED. Not an empty seat in the house. I had to sit next to a Vietnamese lady and her kid and he barfed the MINUTE we took off all over his shirt, so the whole ride was kinda stinky. I also sat infronta a seat kicker. HATE SEAT KICKERS. It was soo crammed my legs were so sore but I slept for most of the trip.

Transiting at Chicago was straightforward but I felt really strange in this crazy, bustling alien place. The customs guy also gave me a pretty hard time. He even asked me what kinda instant noodles I brought. Sigh.

The domestic plane to Philly was kinda dingy. The windows even had like a bees nest in it or something. I could make out some sorta honey comb thing. Gross.

It was a really tough flight but it got all better when I saw Meng at the airport with a HUGE buncha sunflowers. Now I don't wanna go home.

Almost America

2010-06-22T04:31:00.000-07:00

I HAVE SURVIVED THE GALLOWS.

Work is finally over and I have just been chilling at home for the past few days. It is also a week before my flight to finally go see Meng.

Got a bit emotional on my last day of work. I was really sad to say bye to Jun, Ginny, Fildza, Satish, Za and of course, my fellow partner in crime, Harianti. It feels as if I'm not really ready to move on and although I despise my superior, I really like the job scope (work really gets me excited) and hanging out with people in the office. I just need to readjust my head a bit after being catapulted out of slavery and launched into pure holiday.

Went to the Botanic Gardens with Yahui and Chai on Saturday for some Opera in the Park performance. Saw a poor dead bird on our trek (when I say trek, I mean sports shoe trek) in. I speculate that it got hit by a moving truck which was why we found its wing a few steps down the road. Yahui thinks it got attacked.

I'm not the sort to give some heaving soprano a thunderous standing O, but I really enjoyed myself. Although I spent most of my time pretending to conduct and mimicking opera singing, it was pretty cool when they sang "IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYEEEEEEEE~~~~ something something.. something."

Also met Titus for dinner at a quaint little Thai restaurant. The beef green curry and pineapple rice were to die for. I can still mind-taste that spicy coconut goodness right now.

We also had chocolate lava cake for dessert, something called the Three Inch Sin. Lemme just lay this on the table right now, three inches is pretty small. Yeah I said it.

On Monday, Ger and I planned to go to NTU for our medical checkups. We can't go on the allocated date for our course cause we're going on holiday. Ger's going to Perth with two boys by the way (don't kill me)! So I called the medical centre in NTU early in the morning to check if we had to pay any fees or bring anything BUT the lady there told me that I needed to make an appointment when I had already called TWICE prior to this and was told to just "walk-in" TWICE. So after some explaining, the lady finally relented and we could just go.

Had to take height and weight there (why is it you're always shorter and heavier at checkups?) and pee in a cup and swish a stick with coloured squares in there. Ger was whining about how difficult it was. You gotta catch your pee in MIDSTREAM. What the hell is midstream anyway. The middle of the Mississippi River?

Then we headed to Jurong Medical Centre for our X ray because only kids who go on their assigned dates get to do their X rays in the X ray bus. Sat in pretty, blue spa-robes for a bit in the middle of the centre for everybody to see. Also got nagged at by the x-rayist(?) (ok fine, radiologist, you stiff upper lips.) for not breathing in and holding my breath. "CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE SIZE OF YOUR LUNGS YOU DIDN'T BREATHE IN!" She told me to breathe in like 30 seconds early and walked around the room a gazillion times and to hold it for a million years! I think I would know if I breathed, thanks very much!

We were in Lew's area so we all had lunch together. I ate some hotplate tofu which was delish and after Ger bustled off to meet Jeremy, Lew and I went down to eat soft shell crab and salt and pepper chicken. They had fried shallots in chili oil which was really crispy! I ate it from the pot and was called "disgusting".

Managed to change my money at the Jurong Point money changer for 1USD to 1.38SGD. YAY. Absolutely cannot wait to take that 22-hour flight.

ccom

2010-06-10T18:52:00.000-07:00

I've been with my workplace for the past one and a half years and those of you who know me well know that I absolutely abhor working with my superior because she is mental. There're also a ton of things that I love about this place, though.

Going out to the reception and complaining with June the receptionist.

Ordering Brian around and making him wash my antsy cup every morning.

The freedom to use the Internet all day.

Stealing biscuits and snacks from Ginny the desk mama shop.

Getting free stuff and tons of advice from Fildza.

Seeing Satish roll his eyes at me every morning and tell me to get back to work and to "stop pretending" when I actually AM doing something LOLOL.

Hearing Ger shuffle her feet to my desk to know that it's time to go home.

Laughing a ton with Harianti when we hear the deejays play this stupid jingle. "My interest in this matter is significantly decreasing!" "AIYO!"

Hearing Uncle Francis snorting his morning sinus to know that he's finally in the office.

Bugging Auntie Za for the dumbest things, it's a wonder she hasn't gone mad by now!

Asking everyone what we're having for lunch at 9 in the morning.

These people here are just the best, and I'm gonna miss this place... BUT NOT ENOUGH TO STAY AHHAHAHAHAA.

America

2010-06-02T20:29:00.001-07:00

I was just looking through my desktop files and I stumbled across some lists that Meng and I created for my trip to America.

It reads:

List of Movies

Paranormal Activity
Let the Right One In
How to Train your Dragon
Ip Man 2
Machine Girl

List of Foods

Hot Dog
Sausage
Cheesesteak
Skinny Bacon Pizza
Spicy Chicken Dish
Meng’s mom’s dumplings and noodles
Tagliatelle
Tacos

Meng's going home Saturday and I can't wait! Because that means I'm that much closer to my trip to Philadelphia and that much closer to him.

2010-06-02T05:26:00.000-07:00

We all know what laws there are. Traffic law, criminal law, media law... but the law I hate the most has to be MURPHY'S LAW.

So, my workshops are on Thursday and Monday. They are going surprisingly smoothly, but I found out yesterday that my makeup workshop instructor left the organisation without telling me, and I only found out when I called a million people wondering why she didn't reply my emails.

Also, I freaked out 10 minutes before the end of the work day today thinking that my hip hop instructors didn't book the venue because it didn't show up on the system when I checked. Sigh.

Paranoia is a scary, scary thing, my friend. For the parano-ee at least.

Parisian Love

2010-05-31T23:47:00.000-07:00

Ger linked me this a while back. This is for the people who were supportive throughout. Love makes a lot of things possible.

2010-05-23T05:32:00.000-07:00

Things have been pretty busy of late. Been bustlin with graduation. It's funny being in the works of your own graduation. It was actually really fun. All the VIP buffets and time away from the office were a nice change. It was just a bit sickening to have to hang around Cruella Deville. I wither with every second in her presence. It was a very revealing week.

I know that I've changed in the past year. Maybe I've become more jaded and weary with just about everything. I'm sorry I complain, I'm sorry I don't smile as much. I'm sorry that I can't get my mind wrapped around the negative things. I really am. Just understand, please.

2010-05-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

I'm currently trying to convince myself that I won't care how the stupid workshop events at work turn out anymore. I'm supposed to be organising some stupid event for work but my supervisor (who is a quite a nitwit if you asked me) is trashing all my ideas because of her dumb superiority complex. She wants the events to be soooo exclusive, only certain people are allowed to join, etc, but you know what she's gonna end up with? AN EVENT WITH NOBODY SHOWING UP. I'm gonna be gone in four weeks and if the event fails, it's not gonna be on my temp-staff head!!!!!

Weiliang says I'm underpaid and I agree entirely. Her favourite phrase is "Jolene can". Jolene can photoshop your photos, Jolene can schedule interviews, Jolene can carry my chinese new year goodies to my car, Jolene can design your flyers (because nobody else in the world knows photoshop right? =.=), Jolene can follow-up on this, Jolene can take these papers upstairs. Well you know WHAT?

JOLENE CAN ALSO PUNCH YOUR STUPID FACE.

30 Seconds to Mars Absolute Radio

2010-05-06T06:51:00.003-07:00

For that 30 Seconds to Mars Fan.

2010-05-02T06:10:00.000-07:00

I am dreading tomorrow terribly, not because it's Monday, but because I feel pretty unfairly treated at work. It's a really long story... I don't really wanna recount it all over again because I'll get all upset and aggravated again. I just feel caught between a rock and a hard place.

Weekends are the most wonderful time of the week. It flew by hanging out with the girls, watching movies on my laptop and just spending tonnes of time with Meng. He's just wonderful. If he were here right now, he'd make everything better...

Only six more weeks to go. If I could have a word with time, I'd beg him to make these six weeks go by faster and make summer last forever.

2010-04-26T00:52:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been pretty calm and surprisingly normal which probably explains the absence of posts.

So, I've been breaking the rules and shopping quite a bit, that always seems to happen when I'm out with friends. I've watched movies, some new shows and caught up with a buncha old pals and work has slowed down to a comfortable mundane pace.

The grossest and weirdest thing I've done lately is probably using one of those sinus rinses which work sorta like a neti pot. You just have to shoot saline solution up one nostril and it'll automatically flow out the other. It seems pretty difficult and painful but it was literally painless for me. I'm hoping that it expels my dark circles and makes me sound less like a suffocating wombat at night.

I'm really looking forward to the 28th of June. We have a tonne of plans but I know at the back of my mind it will be over quickly. That always happens to the best of things.

Sony Ericssion EFFECTIVENESS!

2010-04-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

This is for Sony Ericsson media monitoring/blog tracking.

So if you didn't know, my Sony Ericsson G705 phone suddenly decided that it didn't want to work its navigation buttons and I could only press the left green call button which I made full use of and Yahui was the only person I could call.

This was all on Saturday by the way and I found out that my warranty expired in TWO days! Such a close shave! So I zoomed down to the SE Service Centre at Bishan. I spent about half an hour there which was a little boring because all my music was on my trusty phone which was virtually useless.

On Monday, I found out that my phone was already ready for collection through this online status checking service thing! I only had to wait one working day when they cleverly tell all their customers that they had to wait three. Very good strategy.

I'm a little worried that my SE phone will die on me again because it seems to be a recurring problem with G705s and my warranty is officially over. However, I'm really grateful for SE's efficiency.

THANKS SONY ERICSSON.

2010-04-11T03:50:00.001-07:00

"But how can we argue, tell me?
Over the fury and the fire
How many times can we tell you
That we are not like you, we see right through
The poor disguise that fails to fool
The wary eye is trained on you"

Poor Baby

2010-04-10T18:45:00.000-07:00

Poor baby...

The Game

2010-04-09T04:25:00.000-07:00

I remember my internship supervisor giving me a little Primary School quiz close to the end of my stint in the company. The question I remember most vividly is, "So, in terms of people skills, what have you learnt?" I never answered that question because I didn't think that she'd like my answer.

Everyone wants to be successful, no person in their right mind would say that they wanna fail, it just depends on what kinda success you're looking for but it's really crazy how unscrupulous people can be just to climb the corporate ladder! Asking meaningless questions to "assess", hiring very passive people who will only listen to them, lording over their minions when the managers are away... I find this highly evident in the team that I am in. Well, in my direct in-charge.

Lewell is right, companies tend to try to stretch their temps dry and we inexperienced slaves scurry around trying to quench their insatiable hunger. The media and comms industry is extremely hypocritical and I'm sick of my organisation trying to put this plastic sheen and veneer on our department when the culture is just WRONG. We need some honesty in here!!!!

The staff in this place are extremely dissatisfied and I think that the people you should look to to gauge the quality of a company are the people on the ground.

Do you want to know the answer to my supervisor's question?

It is: I will never be like her.

MRTs

2010-04-06T04:30:00.000-07:00

It's safe to say that an accurate reflection of the Singaporean society would be how Singaporeans act on MRTs.

People rush for seats. It's like paperclips to a magnet. Singaporeans are self-interested, fighting for seats, money, free gifts or even that promotion at work. If you fight hard enough, I guess you'll get it, like the people on trains do.

So you finally got your seat, you're all warm and comfy and already making a nest in it and some old guy comes along and stands right in fronta your nose. Suddenly you feel like everyone is staring expectantly at you. To give up your seat, of course.

Internally, you struggle with yourself. Should you give it up? He's not that old, he doesn't even have white hair! I'm not really feeling too good today. Maybe you'll be a stingy prat and keep your spot, feel guilty for ten seconds then forget all about it once you leave the train, or, you'll be gracious and stand on your aching feet instead.

Peer pressure is a dangerous, dangerous thing. The pressure to conform is achingly painful. Just like your feet will be after you give up your seat.

Sometimes nice people hang around, letting other people pass first and not vying for seats. That's all very nice and dandy, except that you'd probably miss your train when it's packed like sardines in a can. Nice guys do finish last, and this applies to just about everything else.

Living in a city can get pretty crazy. Oh, and also, very few people smile on the train.

2010-04-05T06:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wanted something so much that it was everything you thought about and worked for? And then when you actually almost have it, suddenly it doesn't shine so brightly anymore.

Jumbo!!!

2010-04-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

My family went to Jumbo at NSRCC just Saturday for a really nice lunch cause I just got paid. This is going to be one very delicious post!

We managed to get a table at the window cause dad wanted the view of the golf course.

This is a cold dish of fried tofu, gross jellyfish, salad youtiao and roast duck with mango.

Dad ordered another side of salad youtiao because we didn't know that the cold dish would come with it. My sister was really grossed out when she found out that the filling is made of cuttlefish paste but she still inhaled everything.

Sharks fin! Don't call me a cruel shark killer! I'd be okay just having soup with diced scallops, crab meat, mushrooms and prawns, like this one.

A scallop and abalone veggie dish. The basket was tasty too.

Some sorta vermicelli (bee hoon) with sauce and stuff.

Chili crab! The crab was really good and the meat was all tough and nice, but it was a tad too sweet for me. It was still really good though.

Rocking a Jumbo bib. Yay...

OH this mango pudding was delicious. It was a really great way to end the meal.

We paid about $160 for the entire bill. Everything here besides the salad youtiao was from a 4-person set meal for about $168 without GST and service charge. It should've been more expensive but they had an April offer going on and dad got 25% off for being a member of something.

I'm going to be craving for this for a while.

2010-04-01T02:38:00.000-07:00

So this week has gone by in a flurry and it actually wasn't really half bad at all!

I watched How to Train Your Dragon in 3D on Sunday. I really enjoyed it, i think even more than the person that asked me to go to watch it. I think 3D is so horribly unnecessary though, the glasses made the screen so dark and the colours so muted that it really spoiled the graphics of the show rather than enhanced it. Great storyline and voice overs though, I'm gonna download the movie as soon as the DVD rip is out!

Ger finally joined me at work and it feels tonnes better now! I am really enjoying her company. Hanwee also joined my team and he's cool. The workload is also not so insane anymore.

Went phone hunting with my sis last night and it was an utter mess! We ended up having to reserve a phone and going back on Friday.

Meng is coming back on Saturday morning. I hope he hasn't forgotten me.

Also, a really cool viral campaign was just released today! The vids feature some guys getting attacked by butterflies. They still haven't revealed what the campaign is for, but it is pretty damn cool.

Video 1

I prefer this vid out of the two because it has a more authentic concept but the video quality is too polished to be viral.

Video 2

This video looks pretty authentic til the guy gets swept away by the butterflies.

Anyway, very interesting campaign making its rounds on the Internet. Dying to see what this is for!

Tell Her About It

2010-03-29T05:39:00.000-07:00

Watched this on American Idol just the other day and it really stuck with me, so I googled it. Matt Giraud and Scott Macintyre's Tell Her About It

Last season of AI was awesome! This year disappoints.

2010-03-27T14:57:00.000-07:00

Thank god for weekends. The work week has been pretty insane and I'm glad that it's over.

I used to go to this hairdresser regularly just because we were pretty chummy and he kept screwing up my hair over and over again. He cut my hair into this terrible bowl cut that I now have to grow out. I vowed never to go back again but I still did two more times because I thought he just screwed up a little and that he really knew what he was doing. Well, no more chances for Mr Hairdresser because I went to his direct competitor, the shop exactly right beside his.

I'm glad I did too, because my hair looks distinctively better and the guy there knew exactly what I meant when I said my hair was messed up. I still have to grow out my bowl but at least it's not so gross looking anymore.

You know when you were a kid, it was always difficult to sit still, especially in the hairdressers' chair? When you get a little older though, you get a little slower and more chill and suddenly getting your hair cut is so therapeutic.

God, I love getting my hair cut, I could sit in that chair for two hours or something.

Tips for Surviving Road shows

2010-03-24T14:51:00.000-07:00

Everyone has to help out at a road show booth sometime. It's a necessary element to human suffering. So here are some tips to a less painful time at road shows.

1. Have plenty of energy

You're gonna be carrying a shitload of stuff because events require a lot of muscle power so make sure you've had breakfast or whatever before the event or even keep something in your bag so you can eat something if you feel weird. Also take bottles of water with you because you WILL be sweating.

2. Bring enough stuff

If you're planning to reach out to 20 members of your target audience, bring 30 of everything because the last thing you want to do is run out of brochures, free gifts or anything that you want to push. It sucks turning people away from your booth because you have nothing to offer.

3. Find chairs

Sit down while you're waiting for people. You're gonna be standing all day anyway, so you don't have to be all antsy standing up all day. Your feet will be very sore when the day is up.

4. Bring free gifts

If your booth is having terrible business and other peoples' are just thriving, just pull out those freebies and people will start flocking.

Ask me why I'm writing post. Seriously, ask me why. I have PLENTY to tell.

Oh and I also broke the handle of my parents' bathroom door when I got home from work yesterday. Ugh.

2010-03-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

It's the new week again and my weekend was awesome. Meng's mom, Jun, came down for a visit and she took me to a lovely meal at Blu, a restaurant balanced on the 24th floor of the Shangri-La.

We kinda wanted window seats because you could see the whole city from your table and we did initially got those seats but this poor waitress came to our table and kinda squatted beside us and told us that we were meant to be at a table inside instead. Service is obviously serious stuff to them and they even gave us two glasses of champagne for having to move us!

Okay, enough talk. FOOD!

Salad that Jun made me eat. It was crisp and pretty tasty for salad.

"The Egg Came First". A soft poached egg with truffle and onion broth.

A bacon and scallop dish with cool little bubble-foam bits for presentation.

Some sorta fish.

OH this dessert was so good. It was a warm chocolate mousse with a scoop of vanilla ice cream in the middle topped with crushed Oreo cookies.

Adorable dessert called "Breakfast". It is essentially made of pureed fruit and shaped into an egg.

A little candy tree with edible cotton candy flowers and chocolate leaves and soil.

We were served by this waiter named Danny that we met at The Line last year. He remembered Meng too!

Good times.

Piano Improv

2010-03-21T06:08:00.001-07:00

Someone linked this to me and I love it! It's a hilarious piano improv on Chatroulette. This guy is so talented!

Bye Juliana

2010-03-18T04:29:00.000-07:00

I hate goodbyes so much. Today was Juliana's last day at work and I am feeling so incredibly lost and vulnerable already. Uncle Francis was singing his silly goodbye songs and everyone started coming out from their cubicles and saying sad stuff, it was all too much for me.

Juliana saw me through a really rough patch. I had a terrible time at internship and she was always there to listen to me rant and actually have some sorta response that made me feel instantly better. Whenever we got into trouble, both of us would head to the gallows together and I always have the stupidest giggle fits talking to her at the most inappropriate times. She is probably my favourite person in the office and I really feel very close to her. I'm going to miss her so damn much.

I'm holding the plush toy handphone holder she gave me before leaving. I always go to her desk and pet it for kicks when I'm bored.

If there is any one thing I take away from work, it is getting to know her and I learnt so much more from her than any other boss, manager or superior.

Fly to higher and bluer skies my fellow avian.

2010-03-17T02:30:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been very revealing I think.

Been really busy with back to back events for the past few days but today is the ABSOLUTE LAST DAY. I can finally take a deep, huge, breath. I don't really want to say too much about this because my organization does blog tracking. I'm just grateful that I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn anymore! I guess it's my own fault, really. Although I'm really tired from all the nonsense that happens in the day, I find myself sitting up and staring at my comp screen to see if any messages have come in even when I'm half asleep.

At the end of a really long day, everyone needs someone to tell them that everything's gonna be okay.

2010-03-13T15:47:00.000-08:00

I do believe this is a monumental event that needs to be logged, recorded and included in kids' history textbooks.

CRAB DAY.

Poor things don't even know what hit them.

Mmmmm.

LOOK AT IT! Monster claw. This was one of those meals where I felt sad when it was over.

The lot of us headed to Gin's place on Friday. It was a lot of fun. The food she got was really great and she had chocolate syrup. Any house with chocolate syrup is my kinda home.

Anyway it was nice to be able to be able to just chill and not worry if someone is talking about you or trying to push their shit to you. It seems that the culture here is such because of the people that it comprises of. It's scary and I don't want to play this game and I don't want to be involved in it anymore after this stint. Gerlynn will be joining me shortly and I am going to have SO MUCH FUN. She needs to hurry up and get her butt over here.

I actually bothered watching a little snippet of the Jack Neo press conference earlier this week because everyone's been telling me how dramatic it was. This whole fiesta is a lot of bull and a waste of time.

"AMERICA has its Tiger Woods, and now it looks like prudish Singapore, too, may have its own version of a celebrity with a scandalous sex life.

The dubious honour belongs to Singapore’s famous filmmaker Jack Neo, who has played a major role in reshaping the local movie industry.

The difference between Neo and Tiger is that no one has yet labelled his involvement with a number of women aged between 20 and 40 as a sex addiction. But a few had advised him to go for counselling."
- The Straits Times

I definitely do not advocate infidelity but this has really spun out of control. The media needs to find bigger, better and more interesting things to discuss like... Adam Lambert or something, I don't know. What I find more worrying than this loopy man's sordid affairs are the opinions of his friends in high places. Singapore's creme de la creme. The foundation of our society.

Does THIS sound like anything any respectable man would say?

“Actually, a man who has good career development would find such scenarios unavoidable.”

- He who must not be named

Remind me never to get with a man with "good career development" because no successful man is faithful. Of course.

If I were Mister Neo, I would go into hiatus and hiding for a bit until the hype dies down a little. I would spend that time I usually waste on producing B rated movies to start groveling at my wife's feet. I would also call all my little friends and tell them to put a sock in it and go for some media training because they're acting silly.

Also, weekends need to be longer than 2 days... Seriously.

2010-03-10T04:17:00.001-08:00

I only just noticed some old family photos above my bed a few days back and I feel a deep sense of loss every time I see them. I wonder how long they've been there and how many other things I've let slip under my nose... I know my dad is secretly upset that we're gonna leave him soon...

BUT I'm back at work! Really grateful for the money and everything but nobody likes working. We'd all be on holiday forever if we could!

ANNOYING ROOMMATE

2010-03-01T21:54:00.001-08:00

HAHAHA reminds me of when jie and I were rooming together.

The World's Most Annoying Roommate - Watch more Funny Videos

2010-02-23T16:32:00.001-08:00

Oh yeah, along with my birthday, Chinese New Year just flew by too. Mom and dad asked me what I wanted and I bellowed CRAB!!! in 2 milliseconds. It was the fastest banshee scream you will ever hear in your human life.

I haven't even gotten any yet though... (At least two people have told me that they had crab over the last week because I'm so insane about it they just wanna rub it in my deprived face, and one of them is disgusting Gerlynn. Of course i wail miserably just to make them feel better about themselves. Sheesh.) I agreed to wait til Chinese New Year is over because crab prices are kinda like the stock market.

CNY is one of my favourite occasions. The new year music gets annoying sometimes because the singers like to sing nasally (not in a good way like M Shads) and songs are always played on loop, but it's just a very happy, festive period and people over here go nuts over preparations.

I really really miss our CNY celebrations in St Nicks because everyone would get to come in home clothes and we'd have oranges and St Nicks red packets with chocolate gold coins and dumb Chinese performances, which means no lessons! It was just good vibes everywhere and I always have a fantastic time with my St Nicks girls anyway. Oh boy I'm feeling a little bit like a sentimental old coot.

Visited both mom and dad's sides of the family and I absolutely ADORE steamboat. I had SO MUCH abalone and shabu shabu pork and fat mushrooms. I also have an adorable new baby cousin named Dylan.

I was a little terrified at carrying him around cause I was afraid that I'd drop him and he'd crack like an egg. It was a lot of fun though, he is such a cutie pie.

Anyway, if I could, I'd eat steamboat every day of the week. Sigh.

2010-02-23T05:40:00.000-08:00

Headed out to Clarke Quay this Sunday. Lots of stuff happened but the only thing I can remember now is passing by the reverse bungee because I was plagued by so many emotions at the time. Time used to go by really slowly when I was a kid, but now, eight months ago feels like just yesterday. Things have changed, some good, some bad and now that everything I've been waiting for is coming, I suddenly feel like running scared. Don't get me wrong, I've had some of the best days and I'm grateful for everything that's happened so far. I can only hope (I don't like hoping, it makes me antsy) that things fall into place eventually.

Everything's just been a mad rush lately and to be honest, I am not all smiles and sunshine about having to leave work for a week but since I have to, I spent some time with jie today. Just made a little trip to the bank, shopping and lunch. It was good!

OK BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE BE POSITIVE.

2010-02-20T02:23:00.001-08:00

Sorry for the blog hiatus. Just being uber lazyyyy.

So, I'm officially 20 years old. Grown up over here! I am really grateful to all my friends for taking me out especially Lew, Yahui, Chai, Zixin, Gerlynn and the wonderful people at CCOM. I've had a super week. I also finally got to meet Nic (one of Yahui's friends) in the flesh, he's this really cool guy who loves A7X too, so obviously we got on like a house on fire.

Meng also sent over the most amazing gift and I am never going to forget what he did for me because it is hanging on my wall RIGHT ABOVE MY BED. I think I thanked him about two million times but I was (I still am) just SO DAMN PSYCHED.

I know I've been too much of a worrywart lately but I can't help but feel a little old, scared and tired... I think I just need a little break, which is going to happen.

Internship has finally come to a close and ended on a good note so I can finally heave a sigh of relief. I gotta take a week off work for the guys to process and approve my post (which I WAS worried about =.= not anymore now) before I can officially start as a temp. I dunno, suffering from job insecurity at the wee age of 20.

I also submitted all my university applications and I think I tried really hard in school, so everything is out of my hands right now. Just have to wait again.

Another major thing that happened was that I booked my tickets to Philadelphia, so I really am destitute now, but I have never been so happy to be broke! HAHAHAHAA I KNOW THAT IS REALLY WEIRD BUT IT'S TRUE. Just really happy and full of anticipation. YAY!!!!!!!

I am so determined to try to be happy and positive. COME ON SHARE A LITTLE HELP HERE.

2010-02-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

Another difficult night.

2010-02-05T06:43:00.001-08:00

Gorgeous night out today. Work was the same ol' same ol' but I finally met up with Ger and ZX after such a damn long time and Carissa came along too. Just hung out at the Cathay for dinner. They know me so well. Got me a tank top and a blazer-looking jacket all in my favourite colours of course. All of them came prepared with the works. Cake, card, presents everything.

Oh also my card says "we know you're poor and destitute now so we got you clothes :)" Best birthday card ever. Oh and it's not even my birthday yet.

Bittersweet ending to this day. Where are you? Insecure and I just can't help it. Don't you understand?

2010-02-05T01:26:00.000-08:00

I don't know how I feel about this... I kinda have an issue with putting my complete trust in people. Just feeling really insecure. Not happy with myself right now :(

2010-02-03T22:12:00.000-08:00

Man. I'm so scared that I won't be able to get into a local university. It has always been one of my goals and looking at last year's grade profile, I am feeling really insecure about it. Feel like a sitting duck.

I really really miss meng right now. I wonder if the sun has risen for him over at the other side and whether he's doing okay.

2010-01-29T04:55:00.000-08:00

It really has been a while hasn't it. Miraculously, things have been coming along much better and I can only cross my fingers that everything goes according to plan.

I finally cut my hair again. Really sick of that disgusting bowl hair. It looks decent now I guess.

Man.... this weekend kinda blows a little. Little little things are really getting to me and it's really making me second guess a little.

Leisure

2010-01-15T13:34:00.000-08:00

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

By Wm. Henry Davies

2010-01-13T14:09:00.001-08:00

I keep getting frustrated every single day. Sometimes I really wonder whether it will be worth it and what could possibly come out of this. It's hard to hang on to something so intangible when you feel so... insignificant. None of my efforts have come to fruition and I'm wondering if I'm taking this too seriously now. Really really really disappointed and just sad.

Time to breathe

2010-01-11T03:46:00.000-08:00

Open House is over and I finally have time to breatheeee the sweet air at my desk. Ahhh.

I found packets of cheese crackers on my desk first thing this morning with a little note left behind by Eu Chong. Headed to his room only to find that Friday was his last day of work. I had clean forgotten! I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Uncle Francis was so relieved that Open House was over that he took the whole team out to Dempsey for lunch. We had fish head curry and headed over to Ben & Jerry's for dessert. I don't know why, but the people there call waffle bowls "flowers". I really like that! I guess it's cause they really do look like flowers. WAFFLE FLOWERS. So I got brownie ice cream thing on a small flower (that's what they said I am not making this up). Yum.

Dempsey is one of my favourite places to go to because of the meaning it holds for me. Going there always leaves me feeling nostalgic and just a little sad.

2009

2010-01-09T14:50:00.001-08:00

We're ten days into the new decade and I haven't written a single line about the new year at all, so I thought I'd just highlight my life-altering events over the last ten years.

4. Poly Education

Everyone hates school when they're IN school but honestly speaking, I have never really hated a moment of poly or regretted my choice at all. Except maybe during FYP. I met the most dedicated lecturers and made some of the best friends there.

By a stroke of luck (or misfortune hahaha), I managed to get weasel my way into the corporate comms department where I gained incredible amounts of experience and knowledge. I am truly grateful to everyone there.

3. Breaking Up

The break up in 2008 was probably the best thing that happened to me. I made many mistakes with my stupid ex boyfriend. All the signs were wrong but when you're in the situation, you aren't the most objective person in the world.

Looking back now, I am terribly relieved. We are just too different people and I would hate to look into a crystal ball to find my dreams and aspirations not realized because I was too secure in my own little deluded world to step out of my comfort zone.

2. Family

My family was never close knit but my relationship with my mom was always one that was majorly explosive. Families fight and everything is forgotten the next day. It's not like that for me and my mom though. We have a little feud that seemed to exist ever since I was born. It was easy to cover the fire for a few years but lately it just resurfaced again. Really takes me back to my terrible teenage years.

1. Finding Fresh Hope

Still really close to my sistas from St Nicks! We are all peppered in different places but it seems like we all just click. We never run out of things to talk about.

I'm utterly glad I met Meng last year. He's just different from everyone else. He's someone that can help you dream again when everyone tells you that you're being unrealistic and stupid. I feel human and alive again cause of him.

a million little pieces

2010-01-07T04:09:00.000-08:00

Feeling awfully empty now. Finally have time to breathe but there's no one here... I'm so tired. I just wish someone would keep me safe and tell me everything is alright. Everyone needs a little love sometime.

The Rev is crazy

2010-01-01T06:00:00.001-08:00

Still can't get over it.

Jimmy Passed away?!

2009-12-29T01:00:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that Jimmy (The Rev) drummer of A7X passed away. This is so weird. I can't believe this. Is this some sorta sick joke?!

"Avenge Sevenfold’s ‘The Rev’ reportedly died of natural causes today. According to Fox News, James (Jimmy) Owen Sullivan aka “The Rev” was found dead at his home in Southern California. He was a backup vocalist for the Southern California band, “Avenged Sevenfold.”

They say James Owen Sullivan who went by the stage name, “The Rev” appears to have died of natural causes today in Huntington Beach,California. He was only 28 years old. The Orange County coroner’s office is reportedly investigating the death."

-Stolen off some website

WHAT NATURAL CAUSES?! HE WAS AS ALIVE AS ALIVE GOT.

Read about it here.

Man... this really sucks. A7X won't be the same without him.

Christmas

2009-12-26T15:32:00.000-08:00

This Christmas has definitely been different from all the other Christmases in the past years. Things have just been falling to shit lately at work and at home. I can't seem to find solace anywhere.

I guess work has been vastly better lately after I've reached an understanding with my superior. I no longer dread going to work anymore, not when my home is a battlefield.

All the yelling, cynicism and insults have really put a strain on my family lately and I seem to be at the center of all arguments. I feel trapped with a family of strangers and there doesn't seem to be a way out at all. I wish I knew what to do. I just want to get out of here...

I spent some time with my relatives this year though. My cousins are having the same problems as I did when I was still a wee teen except that their mom cuts them a little more slack than mine did.

Also stayed over at Mei's on Christmas night with Yahui and Chai too. It was a lot of fun. Good times, good times.

I guess I should be glad that I'm not alone anymore and there are really genuine people that care about me and I care about. Oh well, back to yet another day in this war.

Me Likey.

2009-12-21T06:30:00.001-08:00

2009-12-20T05:49:00.001-08:00

Approaching Christmas with a heavy heart. This year is going to be different from all the others. I'll be missing out on a lot for things I don't even care for.

Sometimes I think I might be driving myself crazy. I'm trying so hard to put my thoughts in a good place but I keep finding myself back in that same familiar hole. I'm so scared and so alone. It's like I'm getting eaten by my own thoughts. I wish I could take all these negative things out and put them in a box and throw it away or something. I've never really been a negative person but the politics and monotony are literally going to kill me.

If there are two things I hate, it's loneliness and hypocrisy. I usually try to put myself as far away as possible from what isn't honest as but I can't this time. I can't escape. It's like I'm caught in an antlion's death trap. And the only way out is death.

2009-12-16T08:15:00.001-08:00

Feeling loads better lately. More positive and hopeful. Man, Christmas shopping is damn stressful.

2009-12-12T17:29:00.000-08:00

I wonder how many people numb themselves just to get on with life. I wonder how they can spend 20 years watching the sun set from their office windows. I wonder how many people get their dreams crushed everyday and having to settle for menial work for the rest of their lives.

I have so many things to look forward to but I can't keep them in my head. Tell me again what we've planned, please, because I can't see the light at the end of this tunnel.

2009-12-11T17:26:00.000-08:00

feeling really cranky right now.

Bed Punk'd

2009-12-09T05:36:00.000-08:00

SOOOOO I got home really tired from work yesterday and my mom brought me to my bed all excited. I looked at my bed and it looked REALLY different. She bought me this really high mattress that was double the height of your standard mattress. She even changed the sheets and everything to this awful flowery green pattern which I hate but since she took the effort to do it I was like OH COOL!

I've always liked sleeping in high places like on double decker beds or hotel beds with really high divans. I even showed Meng my new mattress and was really happy. So, that night I hopped into my bed with anticipation and it was really damn uncomfortable..... I felt myself sinking into the mattress and I took a good hour to fall asleep. My back was really sore in the morning and I was really tired from the fitful sleep.

I had to rush off to work before everyone got up and when I got back I said that I couldn't sleep with the new mattress and my dad said "Who said the mattress is new?" and I was like "What do you mean?" I found out it was actually TWO of our old mattresses stacked.

Needless to say, I corrected the problem right away. Back to my trusty old mattress.

2009-12-07T04:16:00.001-08:00

>:::::::::::::::::::((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Trying to be strong. You gotta learn to play the game.

Just don't lose yourself. Keep it real Jolene. Keep it real.

I LOVE WEEKENDS SOOOOO MUCH

2009-12-05T04:09:00.000-08:00

I'm beginning to get used to work again but I have to say I much prefer weekends. This was probably how retirement came about I guess!

Gosh, can I even begin to tell you how much I love not having anything to do?

Met up with Mei for dinner on Friday and we had a great time just walking around like we used to. We even saw a little bunny getting his toenails cut. Rabbits are so responsive! When the guy in the shop petted him, he just flattened his back and ears and stayed there really still waiting to get petted. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

I think I am a lot better off than a lot of people. I just can't wait for what happens next you know? TIME NEEDS TO HURRY THE HELL UP!

Cages

2009-11-30T19:54:00.002-08:00

When you first see hamsters in a pet shop, they are usually very vocal. They squeak really loudly to one another and make a big din. But if you take just one home and put him in a cage all by himself, he'll make a little noise on the first day and as time goes by, he'll get quieter and quieter until he doesn't even make a whisper. It's like he's forgotten how to talk after being alone by himself for such a long time.

I really don't want to be a hamster but because of choice and circumstance, I find myself constantly trapped in cages. I must get out.

(Yes yes, I know it's a picture of a bird. I couldn't find a sad enough picture of a caged hamster.)

Instant Noodles Save ze WORLD

2009-11-28T23:27:00.000-08:00

So, I haven't had instant noodles for 2 weeks. Staying off that amazing stuff so that my hair doesn't fall out so much and I don't bald prematurely by the age of 21.

You can have them in soup or dry, like fried noodles! Except that you don't even have to fry em! BUT THEY TASTE FRIED!

You can even top off your noodles with other ingredients like egg or ham and they taste PERFECT like they were meant to be there since the beginning of time.

Also, if you're starving and you're going to die from hunger in 2 minutes, you should have cup noodles. They are ready in a JIFFY! Barely have to wait.

(Images ripped off Google)

Cup noodles even come with cute little condiments inside, like egg or corn or mock abalone. It's all very exciting opening up the bowls to find out what's inside. It's like christmas all over again!!!

They also come in all sorts of flavours and now, besides regular noodles, they have vermicelli, mee sua and other amazing sorts of noodles! HURRAH!

I know I do sound a little crazy but I really REALLY want instant noodles. Hope I made you hungry! :D

2009-11-25T19:29:00.000-08:00

Phew, kinda glad this week is over.

Roy brought Gerlynn, Zixin and me to lunch at the Tower Club just this Wednesday. Such a kind man. The restaurant was propped right at the top of the building, on the 64th story. I could feel my ears pop as the lift surged upward. Longest lift ride ever.

I never really thought that I was a fancy person. I guess it's something that comes with age and experience or something. There was crab meat fried rice there. CRAB. NEED I SAY MORE?!!!!!!!

Also celebrated Yahui's birthday that night. She was really happy. We got her a present that she really likes and cake.

Thursday was an ALMOST graduation dinner. Supposed to be dinner for an etiquette class but nobody cared, obviously. Reminds me of this scene in She's the Man. "Chew like you have a secret!" I think as long as you don't send any plates flyin, you're good. And no, still don't feel anything leaving school. Maybe I will on actual graduation.

It's been a pretty chill weekend. I've been reading Remember Me? by Sophine Kinsella and trying not to destroy the book because Ger will kill me if I leave so much as a mark on it.

2009-11-24T03:45:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt so affected by something, no matter what anyone said, it wouldn't make a difference at all?

I've been so afraid of the future, it's made me shortsighted, jumpy, grumpy and exhausted. I can't sleep past 530 in the morning because when I wake up, my thoughts just run away.

Maybe you can't always be independent. Maybe you can't always be strong. Maybe you can't always keep everything inside. Maybe everyone just needs someone they can trust. Loneliness can eat you inside out, til you are black and hollow.

I guess I am just tired of waiting for things to happen and I can't do anything to help but float along like some lifeless piece of driftwood.

However, I do see some hope now. When someone you care about tries to make you feel better, things just... get better.

Sometimes the people furthest away from you are closer than you can even comprehend. I wake up everyday hoping things get better for real. Please please please please do.

2009-11-21T00:02:00.000-08:00

so many people but just too too too lonely.

ugh

2009-11-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

After career day yesterday, I can't help but feel a little worried. This industry is really interesting but I don't want to start WORKING right now. I need to go to university. I can't can't can't screw up my internship.

I'm trying to stop over thinking but my thoughts are just killing me right now. GOT TO stop.

Your final days

2009-11-18T15:04:00.000-08:00

These are the last weeks of poly and strangely enough, I don't really feel anything graduating and leaving forever. I've left St Nicks and that was devastating because I was there for such a long time and so close to the girls too. So the tinge of sadness I feel about leaving now pales in comparison.

I will miss some things like my friends, the lecturers, food and classes (which I really do enjoy). I've met some of the nicest people I know there but that's basically it. I've never really been a sentimental person unless it's something REALLY important but I dunno, I guess the motivations were different cause I don't feel exactly emotionally connected to the past three years of my life.

Kinda sad when you think about it but I think my time in poly served its purpose. I'm just PETRIFIED thinking about what might happen in this last semester. I don't want my poly education to go to waste. :(

AWW

2009-11-13T18:47:00.000-08:00

Dog goes crazy when this soldier returns home from Afghanistan. Man... dogs are the best.

2009-11-13T03:55:00.000-08:00

The human mind is highly complex. It is possible to lie to yourself to the point of conviction. Where your lies turn into your reality. I'm failing at convincing myself that everything will be okay.

I just feel like I'm losing everything I used to value. What is important to me? Have I forgotten? I am also filled with trepidation when I think of what lies ahead. The unknown scares me.

I don't know myself anymore.

Man hacks off arm trapped under boulder

2009-11-09T21:45:00.000-08:00

Holy crap. Don't worry, it's not gory, he's just describing how he did it.

2009-11-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

"Keep in mind that people often lie, especially in the current age, and that the full extent of their lies can be almost beyond our comprehension."

-James Patterson in Beach Road

2009-11-03T20:01:00.000-08:00

This week's been pretty cool so far. Went shopping with Ger and Zixin on Monday. I abhor window shopping. I don't see how anyone can like it. You have to walk so much, look and try on so many things and the worst part is you can't buy any of it!!! We had fun though, I always have a good time with the both of them. It was Ger's birthday and we were looking for a gift for her. I'm glad she finally found something she likes.

I also realize that I like savoury food a lot more than sweet stuff. I would say no to chocolate but I would never pass up a chicken nugget.

Oh and...

ALL THE BEST FOR As YAHUI STUDY YOUR ASS OFF KKKKK?

10 things I like about Meng Jia

2009-10-31T23:34:00.000-07:00

I would go on about the things I like about Meng Jia but there are just too many. So, I decided to just go with ten.

10. He is taller than me

Actually, I don't enjoy having him laughing at me just cause I'm shorter or how he cheats when we take photos but I have to give him a little credit for being taller than me.

9. I look better in my glasses than he does

Of course, that is what I like to think even if it's not true.

8. He makes me do things I am absolutely terrified of

From holding snakes to eating ostrich, he doesn't care if he loses a finger (but I do). I would've never willingly held a snake if it wasn't for him.

7. He has a terrific smile

Anyone with a smile that can make me feel all fuzzy inside must have a terrific smile.

6. He just doesn't care what you think

He does what he thinks is right and he does it with conviction. A lot of people tend to either go with or against the norm. He just doesn't care about the norm.

5. He's easygoing

He never complains even if you make him run around in sweltering Singapore. It's almost the equivalent of making a polar bear run about in the Sahara Desert.

4. He listens to my incessant rambling

I can talk. A lot. Sometimes about absolutely nothing at all. I'd like to think that he thinks that what I'm saying is important.

3. He taught me that it's not a bad thing to be weird

I always thought that being weird was a really bad thing but he made me realize that really everyone is weird in their own way. People should learn to laugh at themselves!

2. He makes me feel better when things are falling to shit

It's so easy to lose yourself when you're feeling frustrated or stressed out but he always manages to help me keep the important things in perspective.

1. He helps me understand what life is about

Sometimes you just have to step out of your comfort zone and fight for what you believe in even if everyone else is cynical about it. Life is about being happy and he makes me happy.

Supernatural beings that can scare you shitless

2009-10-30T20:54:00.000-07:00

Ghost Portraits

If you see one of these, it's the first indication that you're in a haunted house. Although these poor souls are trapped in their pictures and they can't actually hop out of their frames to scare you, their eyes follow you every where you go. They are watching your every move.

Death/Grim Reaper

Probably one of the coolest supernatural beings around. Sometimes portrayed more as a guide rather than a killer, he is still ruthlessly cold. Invincible and very powerful, if Death wants your soul, he will have it.

Headless Ghosts

These ghosts were beheaded when they were alive. Prowling dark corridors or large mansions, they are looking for their missing heads. Some might have already found theirs and continue wandering aimlessly with their heads in their hands.

Ghost Brides

These poor ghost brides were women murdered in order to give dead bachelors wives in the afterlife. They teeter around in their bound feet, donned in traditional bright red wedding costumes, weeping under their veils for the injustice they've suffered.

Oily Man/Orang Minyak

In order to win the affection of the woman he loved, this guy made a deal with the devil. Malay urban legend states that in exchange for dark powers, he had to rape 21 virgins within a week. He is covered with a slick layer of oil, making him extremely hard to catch.

Chinese Zombies/Jiang Shi

These are just the Chinese versions of the undead. Their stiff arms are always reaching out for new prey and what makes them freakier than your regular zombie is that even though they're dead, they can hop really far and fast.

Thai Performances

Although these performers aren't ghosts, at every Thai performance similar to this, the front row of seats has to be left empty for those unwanted guests. Apparently, ghosts need entertainment too.

Toyol

Fetuses are possessed by spirits of children. People can buy these toyols from bomohs (Malay witch doctors) and ask them to steal stuff or create mischief... for a price.

Hungry Ghosts

These ghosts are always hungry and whatever they eat or drink turns to fire in the pits of their stomachs, burning them inside out. Some Chinese believe that every 7th Month of the year, the gates of hell open and these creatures are released to look for family or food. Their hunger can never be satiated.

White Lady/Pontianak

Probably the most horrifying ghost of all because of how they look, these female ghosts have a vengeance against men. They apparently possess banana trees and if you wanna get laid, all you have to do is tie red thread around your leg and poke the needle attached to it into the banana fruit. This ghost will however, sap all your energy.

They have also suffered some sort of betrayal from their husbands which makes them really really angry.

Note: I don't really know whether I believe in ghosts because I haven't actually seen one myself but I still think it's really interesting! :D

2009-10-29T02:48:00.000-07:00

"Now you see," said the turtle, drifting back into the pond, "why it is useless to cry. Your tears do not wash away your sorrows. They feed someone else's joy. And that is why you must learn to swallow your own tears."

- The Joy Luck Club

I haven't forgotten what's important... have you?

this is usually the part where people scream

2009-10-24T23:30:00.000-07:00

The first week of school is over and I'm a PMS-ing wreck.

Projects have already come in and we're working on a bunch. I'm not feeling the heat just yet but I guess it's gonna be a really relaxing semester. Before I even know it, I'll be back at work.

I've blogged at my wordpress account for a social media class. So far there's only one post, but you can still go check it out here.

hahahhaha oh my god.

Trashy Vlog

2009-10-21T02:22:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAH

2009-10-20T05:02:00.000-07:00

Oh my god. Ger and I are going through our old blog posts right now. I feel like a blithering idiot and I could smell this really weird smell at the back of my throat.

Ok you'd probably think I'm really weird right now, but everything kinda has a smell to me. I say smell because it's the term I've always used to describe odd feelings ever since I was a kid. Now that I think about it, it's probably a reminiscing kinda feeling rather than an actual smell.

The next time I feel down again, I should just read my old blog posts. I am in so much better shape but maybe I'll read these posts in a years time and be going "OH MY GOD I'M AN IDIOT". Gulp.

Sand and fingers

2009-10-19T17:46:00.001-07:00

I have amazing people that I care dearly for, whose company I really enjoy but sometimes, I catch myself at a quiet moment and wonder if I'm really just meant to be alone.

Some have said that I am too trusting and that I open up to people too easily. No matter how hard I try to pass it off as ignorance on their part, it actually really bothers me.

There are the people that don't really understand you. There are also those that just come and go. Then, there are the ones that just slowly and painfully fade away no matter how hard you try to catch hold of them.

Someone once told me that people are like sand. The tighter you clench your fists and try to keep it in your hands, the faster it'll slip out your fingers. Sometimes I find myself building walls because I am afraid. Afraid to lose everything again and having to build myself up brick by brick to what I imagined I would be.

I also try really hard not to make promises to people because I know that no matter how hard I try to keep them, sometimes it's all just sand and fingers.

@twitter

2009-10-18T23:20:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of school. It's really good to see everyone again. We have some really special classes this semester.

One is New Communication Technologies which we have to have twitter, facebook and wordpress accounts for. It's been pretty interesting so far, not your conventional sort of lesson.

I also have Professional Preparation which is AWESOME. I have a great lecturer and I think it's gonna be really really fun.

Anyway, I don't have school tomorrow so booooya.

What do you feel?

2009-10-15T06:04:00.000-07:00

Haggard faces in monsters with wheels
Soulless eyes lost in frantic repetition
Innocence fed to sharks in suits
Maggots of fraud crawling behind polished smiles
Keen pain ebbing to a dull mechanical throb
Hearts drifting away like balloons in the sky
Shrouded in clouds that do not matter at all.

Let it all go because it will pass...
Just like you and I will.

2009-10-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

I've had so much fun in the last few days but I'm ready to go back to school now (I think)!

MONDAY
Monday was rollerblading at East Coast with Messiah, Zixin and Carissa. It was raining like a mofo and this skates rental didn't want to rent out their blades cause they were afraid that the rain would ruin their blades. So, we went to another place that willingly rented their blades to us.

It was poor Zixin's first time and she managed to move a little on the skates but I ended up tugging her half the time. We wanted to go back to the place that didn't want to rent us the skates to MAKE A STATEMENT but as we skated past, Zixin fell. Hard. Talk about making a statement......

We also had an awesome dinner of sambal stingray, kangkong, barbecued chicken wings and sugarcane drinks mmm mmm mmmmmmmmmm.

TUESDAY
On Tuesday, Yahui, Chai and I went to JB to get a little shopping done. I brought the least amount of ringgit but I ended up spending a lot more than they did. My favourite buy was the pair of shiny new vans I got at 30SGD. Yahui and Chai bought some tops and a buncha headbands. Ate some awesome spicy Malaysian food and shit before heading back. I gotta get back on budget when school starts.

WEDNESDAY
Wednesday was a lot of fun. Ger, Marcus, Weiliang and I went down to Sentosa for a little FUN IN THE SUN. Marcus and I were the only ones swimming so we tried swimming across to another island. We made it to the island (YAYAYAYAY) and I started swimming back but Marcus was like "WAIT JOLENE! I'm not good at swimming!!!" Can you say wuss?

Ger brought her DSLR so we had a buncha pictures taken and shit. Ger and I had dinner together and we did some shopping..... And I bought something again. Yeah, I know what you're thinking..... Shut up.

So, today is Thursday and all I wanna do is talk to Meng alllll day <3

7 hours later...
Let's just say... I spent my whole day watching Chonny videos.

2009-10-11T16:23:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm online right now and I AM NOT AT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!! YAYAHAYEAYSYHEYHAHEYEHEHHE

I've recently fallen in love with 30 Seconds To Mars and spent the whole weekend trying to play The Kill on the acoustic. It's pretty fun now after the stumbling stage but I have MILES to go. Miles.

By the way, this is what my sister and I are like heheheh. Props to Lewell for this hilarious shit.

YAYYYYYYY

2009-10-10T06:16:00.000-07:00

Things can only get better from here. I've checked my timetable and next sem, I have Tuesdays off! How awesome is that. I'm really looking forward to the new school term.

The last day of work left a bittersweet taste in my mouth. Still, I'm gonna enjoy the last week of holidays to the max.

It kinda irks me a little when people say things about me like they know me inside out. Do they really? They don't even have a fuckin clue.

Still, I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. I'm so lucky.

what the heck

2009-10-05T23:53:00.000-07:00

These dreams I've been having at night sure are sapping my brain juice. Feel like I haven't slept a wink.

On a lighter note, it's almost the end of Tuesday. 3 MORE DAYS TO GOOO YESYESYESYES :D

Better

2009-10-03T16:02:00.000-07:00

I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am that next week is my last week of work. Work isn't difficult, it is just tiring to be sustained. We had the whole of ccomm close on Friday and all of us went down to Furama for a big fat buffet yumyum.

I have a wholeeeeee programme lined up for the last week of the holidays so friends LOOK OUT. And I am a lot better so don't worry!

I won't ever forget what's important.